I rolled out of bed and stepped out onto the front porch and the sun blinded me momentarily. I moved over and sank down onto the seat and closed my eyes and lifted my face to the rays of the sun letting them warm me feeling all aglow as I took deep breaths and released them letting my body relax and my mind clear. For some reason it seems like the first thing in the morning is the hardest part of the day. My mind slams awake before my body rises. Thoughts of all sorts and natures race around my skull looking for purchase. Whatever I allow to take hold sets the tone for the day. If I am negligent and allow worry, fear, or despondence to take hold I am in for a battle the rest of the morning at least, possibly the whole day if those negative thoughts root deeply. I felt lethargic this morning and the thoughts were kinder. It is Saturday, the sun is out. I am OK today. The bills are paid and financial ruin lurks somewhere in the distance, a made up threat not a promise of things to come.
Yesterday I made my last cut with the 6 month experiment in sales and construction. I learned a lot. I sold a few fences learning that I could do it with a low level of success. I am not a salesman. The only folks who bought fences from me really wanted a fence and really wanted the company I worked for to install it. The fencing business is huge and fascinating. I went to Fencetech in San Antonio in February and was amazed at the variety and different applications and specialization in the industry. Still when laid off last Friday I was relieved in a way. I never felt like I was doing what needed to be done and it bothered me. When the owners opened a general store I thought I had found a nice niche where I could learn more about running a retail store and help manage it. That didn’t work out and my feelings about that are best left in dark corners of my heart until the poison leaches out of them and I can nod my head sagely and say it just wasn’t meant to be.
I picked up my last check and deposited it in the credit union and felt a weight lift off my back. It is done! Let us move forward now and see what comes next. My beloved spouse and I went from the credit union to the chiropractor. My spine was way out of line and the kindly doctor chided me for neglecting to come see him sooner. I did feel better as I left. I took Dramamine before we left the house on our errands and by the time we left the chiropractor I was feeling numb. I get car sick so easily and if I am riding I have to take the stuff. I rode with Ralph all day yesterday. I have not driven my Jeep Wrangler Rubicon much since I got laid off. Ralph doesn’t like riding in it. He says it is like riding in a log wagon and climbing in and out of it is a challenge for him right now with his bad hip. I think driving it is a huge lark. I have a 6 speed manual and the off road suspension lets me feel the surface I am traversing. The mud tires are noisy on the asphalt pavement but coming up and down the nearly mile long driveway is fun. As I have a tendency to run over curbs no matter what I drive the high clearance and stiff suspension protect my investment. This Jeep is my favorite since I traded the Nissan Titan I drove over 250000 miles all over the eastern United States. That truck was a beast. Should have kept it but gas prices went up to nearly 4 a gallon and I was paying 120 a week just to drive to work and back so I thought I needed an economy car. Trouble with those cars I couldn’t get them up my driveway in really bad weather. I don’t see that being a problem any time soon….
One week down, today the attitude is good and I am looking forward with excitement. I believe good things are ahead and I am anxious to see what comes next. Some chapters in our life are long some are short but they are all defined by where we find ourselves and who we share that time with.
MrsSmithsLifeUnexpected 