I woke this morning to the thoughts inside my head doing their best impersonation of a tsunami. Wave after wave crashing around the inside of my skull totally out of control. What are you going to do? What are you going to do??? The question I can’t answer ricochets around my brain pan until my body is flooded with stress hormones and I can’t be still. Luckily I had an outlet. I drank my protein shake and rode down to Rogersville to Main Street and entered the dojo.
Kelly had a good sized class going working kata and he introduced me to his current group of students. It has been a while since I have worked out at the home school. I need this. Oh boy do I need this. I worked with one young lady on su n su kata and with two young people on seisan kata and another on seiuchin kata. It took my mind off the raging storm for a while. I am going to make a point of being at the dojo when I can. Karate is an anchor that can keep me from getting too far out to sea as the storms rage and the darkness threatens. Kelly also talked about turning your worries over to God. God speaks to us telling us what we need to hear through the voice of his children to his children. He says exactly what we need to hear if we have ears to hear. Mine were primed. I heard…I told my heart to take it in and release the anxiety. My heart has a death grip and prying my worry out is going to take divine intervention for what we cannot do ourselves he will do for us. Now if only I would cooperate it would make it so much easier and relieve so much stress and fear. It is the voice of fear that mocks me so.
After class we went to O’Henry’s across the street and ate breakfast. I got an email with job leads and on a lark filled one out and let zip recruiter do its thing. I know I said I wasn’t going to jump on this right away but I did. I filled out 3 applications today. We will see if I get any positive feedback from any one.
As we left O’Henry’s I crashed…last time I felt that way was after winning a karate tournament. The adrenaline crash robs you of all energy. It is like some Giant leach has latched onto your back and is sucking all the vitality out of your system. I hit the wall and splat…Ralph asked me where to and I said home. My head was spinning and my eyes even hurt as I tried to hold them open. The ride home took forever. At one point I was ready to tell him to just stop I would get out and run on ahead sure I could get home faster on foot than he was driving.
I took a 2 hour nap and recovered somewhat. I piddled around the house and then went over to Roger and Danielle’s to pick up my latest shipment of Isagenix shakes and supplies. I will have to quit these when the golden goose lays its last egg if I don’t find employment before then. Things like that hurt. Roger told me of contractors he works around having their pay cut, benefits removed and vacation cut back to a single week a year. Their choice? Take it or leave it. Can you say slave labor? People tend to live on what they make. If you cut their pay it makes a difficult situation dangerously fragile. Paycheck to paycheck living has folks hanging by a thread. Cut their take home pay, take away their health insurance and any other benefits, reduce their vacation to a single week a year, what have you done to these people? Why have you done it? Could it be pure corporate greed and total lack of care for the worker? How long will people be able to stand this before they hit the wall and then everything will go splat.
When I think I have it bad…Sigh!!! I have faith that when I find my next employment opportunity it will be blessed and I will be OK no matter where it is or what I end up doing. The pups and I will be cool! In the meantime my lovely daughter in law mixed me an anti stress bottle of essential oils to use to try and help counter the anxiety. I will give it a test run over the next few weeks I am sure!
MrsSmithsLifeUnexpected 